Pen to Paper

Last Saturday night, my hubby sent me out alone for the evening.  He told me to go do something just for me.  Without children to drive to an activity or an errand to run or a birthday gift to buy, I'll admit I was at a loss for what to do.  Finally I decided to head to my favorite store and buy myself a new journal.

I have a whole collection of journal books.  I always bring a journal to church or to Bible study to jot down notes and quotes and Scriptures in.  I write prayer requests and answers to prayer.  I have other journals I use just in my quiet times and include great quotes that are meaningful to me from books I read or an email I get.  These journals will give my children an intimate picture of their mother when I am gone and I keep that in mind as I write in them.

However, I have fallen out of the habit of writing just for pleasure.  It's been years since I've written just to record my thoughts or special events of the day, to work through my anxiety about an unknown future or recall an amazing turn of events only God could bring about.  Yes this blog has been an outlet for that type of writing.  But a journal is so much more open and honest - it's just between you and the pen.  And so I went shopping for such a journal.

As I shopped I looked for something special, something beautiful, but something that was a reflection of me - nothing uppity or too fancy, nothing too plain or practical.  Looking at all the journals though, I thought about a larger journal I had sitting at home, still empty since I bought it - too big to carry to church or Bible study.  I decided to use that journal as my every day life and thoughts journal.

Then a seed started to grow in my mind.  Why not buy a journal to write a book in? One of the items on my "bucket list" (stuff I want to do before I die) is to write a novel.  Several times I have started and gotten stuck, not consumed enough by my own story to give it any more time to write for someone else.  If I don't want to read it, why write it?

I found a beautiful composition book - white covered with green and yellow flowers.  It's a bit unusual - kinda like me - because the paper is made of stone not wood.  The paper is soft and almost velvety, like it's damp.  And my pen just glides across it.  It's truly a pleasure to write in!  And so this lovely little book will become THE BOOK that has been in my dreams, waiting in the back of my mind for the day I would sit and begin to write it out into the world.

It is not a true story, nor based on anyone's story.  To be honest, at this point even I do not know the whole story.  But tonight as I wrote, it began to tell its story to me.  It introduced me to Lizzie and Mr Roman and gave me a glimpse of little Caleb.  There are others I have yet to meet but I see them there in my mind, waiting their turn to tell their part of the story.  I cannot wait to meet them all! I am writing again! And my heart is happy.