Life at Gentility

$3 Chair Makeover

2010-10-11T13:27:00.000-04:00

I have a little antique chair and ottoman here at Gentility that is absolutely my favorite chair in the house. It has a wonderful little print on it, it's just the right size and the ottoman is always at my feet, even if I'm on the couch instead of the chair! But my pretty little chair was showing her age and I needed to cover it or reupholster it before the threadbare fabric began to tear.

Today I got out my latest Goodwill treasures (two matching king size pillow shams and a crocheted dresser runner) and decided to give my dear little chair a makeover. The results are in the pictures below. I am so happy with my pretty little chair!!

Hope you are inspired to do a little project to beautify your home too!

Your Daily Worship

2010-09-26T17:01:00.000-04:00

I ran across a quote today that made me really stop and think today and wanted to share it with you. Here is the quote from William Barclay:

“The humblest and the most unseen activity in the world can be the true worship of God. Work and worship literally become one. Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever; and man carries out that function when he does what God sent him into the world to do. Work well done rises like a hymn of praise to God. This means that the doctor on his rounds, the scientist in his laboratory, the teacher in his classroom, the musician at his music, the artist at his canvas, the shop assistant at his counter, the typist at her typewriter, the housewife in her kitchen -- all who are doing the work of the world as it should be done are joining in a great act of worship."

Paul wrote to the Romans, "Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship." (Romans 12:1 NIV)

Are you discouraged in the mundane work of life? Do you finish the laundry only to find more dirty clothes to wash the next morning? Do you wonder if anyone notices the noses you wipe, the dishes you wash, the stories you read again and again, the checkbook you balance, the card you send to a sick friend? Does it really make a difference to God, or to anyone else?

Your Father God sees and knows every act of service you perform for someone else, every tear you cry, every hug you give, every small thing you do day in and day out that seems to go unnoticed by the rest of the world. He sees the extra time you give to a project at work so that it's done well, the pride you put into your school assignments, the love in your heart as you fold your husband's laundry. And here, my dear, is what should make you rejoice - not only does He see and know, but all those little things you do bring Him glory! Your love for the Savior and His love for us is reflected in your work and it is continually pointing those around you to Jesus.

Praise God that He does not require what we are unable to give. He does not need a choir. He does not need a great sermon or graceful dance. He is able to take our humble everyday tasks and use them to bring glory to Himself. So be encouraged. You do not work in vain. Your work does not go unnoticed. When you work with your whole heart as unto the Lord, whatever you do, it shouts "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" to the world. And He is glorified.

Home Matters

2010-09-23T16:54:00.000-04:00

This fall I'm taking a class called Home Matters. It focuses on how to organize and rid your home of clutter, making it a beautiful and peaceful place for you and your family to enjoy. As we go room by room through our homes, we are learning some spiritual applications along the way. I wanted to share my home's transformation through the course of the class session with you on the blog.

Last week we concentrated on our front porch. I finally put away an empty bubble container and a whole collection of assorted bubble wands and toys. I also grabbed the bag of phonebooks left on the porch and put them away. The last thing I did was to gather all the little containers of insects I had sitting in various places on the porch and combine them into one jar. Ross and Gracie are collecting insects for an insect board for co-op, but more on that in another post!

Once I cleaned up the clutter, I started thinking about how to spruce up the area. Our front door is navy blue and is a little scuffed and dirty after six years of going in and out, so a scrubdown and paint touchup is definitely in order. Same goes for those faded blue shutters! I've tried in the past to create a little seating area on my porch but still never go out there to sit. I decided the back of the white bench out there leans back too far and isn't very comfortable so I never want to sit there. So I am going to spruce up two of my patio chairs from the backyard (think cheap plastic stacking chairs) with some spray paint and a cushion and put them in the seating area instead. Then I'm going to move my tea cart from the kitchen to the porch to hold outside necessities (like bubbles!) and give me a place to put my glass of wine while I'm out there reading or journaling or spending a little time chatting with my hubby.

Stay tuned for pictures!! And join me this week as we concentrate on the living room.

If you'd like to follow along with the Home Matters class, visit their blog at http://www.homemattersbecausehomematters.blogspot.com/ for summaries of the lessons and ideas from class members about what they're doing in their homes.

Pen to Paper

2010-08-31T00:15:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday night, my hubby sent me out alone for the evening. He told me to go do something just for me. Without children to drive to an activity or an errand to run or a birthday gift to buy, I'll admit I was at a loss for what to do. Finally I decided to head to my favorite store and buy myself a new journal.

I have a whole collection of journal books. I always bring a journal to church or to Bible study to jot down notes and quotes and Scriptures in. I write prayer requests and answers to prayer. I have other journals I use just in my quiet times and include great quotes that are meaningful to me from books I read or an email I get. These journals will give my children an intimate picture of their mother when I am gone and I keep that in mind as I write in them.

However, I have fallen out of the habit of writing just for pleasure. It's been years since I've written just to record my thoughts or special events of the day, to work through my anxiety about an unknown future or recall an amazing turn of events only God could bring about. Yes this blog has been an outlet for that type of writing. But a journal is so much more open and honest - it's just between you and the pen. And so I went shopping for such a journal.

As I shopped I looked for something special, something beautiful, but something that was a reflection of me - nothing uppity or too fancy, nothing too plain or practical. Looking at all the journals though, I thought about a larger journal I had sitting at home, still empty since I bought it - too big to carry to church or Bible study. I decided to use that journal as my every day life and thoughts journal.

Then a seed started to grow in my mind. Why not buy a journal to write a book in? One of the items on my "bucket list" (stuff I want to do before I die) is to write a novel. Several times I have started and gotten stuck, not consumed enough by my own story to give it any more time to write for someone else. If I don't want to read it, why write it?

I found a beautiful composition book - white covered with green and yellow flowers. It's a bit unusual - kinda like me - because the paper is made of stone not wood. The paper is soft and almost velvety, like it's damp. And my pen just glides across it. It's truly a pleasure to write in! And so this lovely little book will become THE BOOK that has been in my dreams, waiting in the back of my mind for the day I would sit and begin to write it out into the world.

It is not a true story, nor based on anyone's story. To be honest, at this point even I do not know the whole story. But tonight as I wrote, it began to tell its story to me. It introduced me to Lizzie and Mr Roman and gave me a glimpse of little Caleb. There are others I have yet to meet but I see them there in my mind, waiting their turn to tell their part of the story. I cannot wait to meet them all! I am writing again! And my heart is happy.

Back to School

2010-08-24T15:06:00.000-04:00

We started school this year earlier than ever before! Today marks day two of our fourth week and we are having so much fun this year!! We are using an excellent curriculum package from My Father's World that combines Bible, Latin, History, Science, Art and Composer Study into one well rounded, connected study. Our time period this year is Rome to Reformation, so we are up to our elbows in mosaics and Caesar right now. What an amazing time in history, leading up to the birth, life and death of our Savior. It's been so interesting to connect people and events in history with the Scripture and see the events leading up to the life of Jesus. I can see the faith of my children growing deeper and more sure with every connection they make.

One of our favorite times together is Art. We are using a wonderful book called God and the History of Art by Barry Stebbing. First we are learning the foundations of good drawing - lines and circles and ellipses and shading. I have agreed to go through the assignments with my children and it has become something I love to do outside of our class as well. Sketching and coloring and shading are very relaxing and give my mind time to think and wander in a way that isn't allowed in my normal hectic routine. What a gift it has been to me! And what a lesson to my children, a reminder that a love of learning can continue to teach you things throughout your life. Never stop learning!!

Hope your school days are starting off well. I would love to hear your back to school stories! Do you have any traditions or special memories of going back to school?

Back to Basics with Baby

2010-06-29T08:38:00.000-04:00

This week we started the transition from soy formula to soy milk with Georgia. It is not going well!! She is having issues with diarrhea and diaper rash very similar to her reactions to milk based formula. We have decided to switch back to soy formula for now and try again in another couple months.

Georgia has had little patches of excema here and there for quite a long time. Over the past two week, the excema has spread and now covers quite a bit of her tummy and shoulders and the creases of her knees and elbows. We are suscipious that it may be food related as it has gotten progressively worse as she has eaten more and more table food and less baby food and formula. So in addition to going back to soy formula, we are going back to just fruits and veggies. We will keep grains out of her diet for a week or so and watch to see how her skin reacts. On one hand, I'm hoping to find the answer but on the other hand I want very much to be wrong about my gut instinct. I don't know if I'm ready for a wheat allergy or other food issue!!

I have experimented a lot in making my own baby food for Georgia. It has been much easier than I thought it would be! Here are a few of our favorites:

Sweet potatoes - I peel and chunk them and roast them with a little olive oil in the oven, then pulse it in the food processor. Now that Georgia has teeth, we've skipped the food processor and just feed her the chunks.

Butternut squash - I prepare this the same as sweet potatoes. Harris Teeter sells squash in already peeled and chunked for the same price as buying it whole!

Apples - I core the apples and slice them with the peels still on, then I cook them down and pulse it in the food processor. I make it a lot chunkier than I used to and now my other children are enjoying the applesauce with her!

Pumpkin - Until I started looking for simple homemade baby food ideas on the internet, I never thought of pumpkin! Now we buy canned pumpkin to feed her (not pumpkin pie filling)! It's very easy to spoon it into an ice tray, freeze the cubes then store them in a freezer bag until you are ready to serve it.

So for now, I'm back to making baby food! Once again, this baby has me walking paths I thought were behind me and in unexpected places. We are continuing to trust that God knows the way better than we do.

Happy Birthday Gracie!

2010-06-04T12:51:00.000-04:00

Embracing Imperfection

2010-04-29T15:56:00.000-04:00

Today's post is nothing fancy but it is intended to be that way. No profound thought or deep devotional. Not even a picture that matches the topic of the post just right! And really, that's the point of today's post!

So many times I am paralyzed by my perfectionism. I don't begin a project or learn to do something new because I want to wait until I can do it really well. I put off housework if I can't do it all completely and thoroughly. And often times, I discover that in putting off what I cannot do perfectly, I am in essence choosing to not do anything at all!

I am beginning to understand the concept of embracing imperfection. Today I mopped my kitchen floor. However I did not mop it by traditional definition. There was no mop, no bucket, no scrub brush, and I didn't even get on my hands and knees. I swept the kitchen then walked from the back of the kitchen to the front, spraying cleaner on the dirty spots and then wiping it up with a wet rag with my foot. Some spots were fairly stubborn and I decided I will wipe away a little more of them next week, but for now I am content that they have at least been swiped over. There was a time in my life that I would have been appalled by anyone who suggested that this method actually counted as mopping my floor. But now I am learning that, in the words of Fly Lady, "Housework done incorrectly still blesses my family." No I'm not flying gung ho into another system of housecleaning but I am letting some words of wisdom that I've heard many times finally begin to sink in.

Even in blogging, I find myself stopped by perfectionism. Several times this week I have wanted to write a post about life here at Gentility, but have put it off because I can't make a spiritual connection to what is just a cute story about one of my children or because I need to make it longer or add a scripture verse to it. I haven't entered the writing challenges on Faith Writers because, like Tiger Woods' attitude towards golf tournaments, I don't want to enter unless I think I can win.

To counteract this tendency toward perfectionism, I'm posting today about this struggle of mine. I haven't come to any great epiphany other than realizing that I struggle with this. I don't have a profound piece of scripture to connect to it. I don't even have a plan of action for how to deal with it. I've just decided to do what I can when I can for who I can for as long as I can - or something like that - it's a quote from John Wesley and if I wanted to be perfect I would look it up online and provide the link to a biography about his life when you clicked on his name. Instead I will trust that you get the idea I'm trying to express and let go of the need to be perfect. How about you? Do you NEED to be perfect? Join me in embracing imperfection. Let go of the need to do it just right and just do it!

Walking Through The Open Door With Faith

2010-04-17T00:14:00.000-04:00

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27 NASV

Last month, in my post Open Doors I shared a journey of faith that our family has embarked on. If you are new to Life at Gentility and haven't read about the doors God is opening, be sure to read that post before reading this one. A few days after I posted the blog entry, I took Ross and Gracie to the local sports center for the adoption connection event I referred to in the post. The basic idea of the event is to bring foster children who are waiting to be adoption together with prospective adoptive parents so that each can get to know the other while sharing in common activities. Ross and Gracie rollerskated and played basketball with many different children there and I was able to hang out with several children and also speak with the social workers attending. This particular function was for waiting children in the 10-17 yr old range. It was a little older child than we thought would fit our family but God clearly told us I should attend and so I did.

At the end of the meeting, the social worker in charge informed us that another event would be held in April for waiting children in the 5-10 yr old range, some with older siblings. This age range is exactly what we feel would work best in our home and it was then I knew why God had sent me there! Tomorrow afternoon, I will be headed to the local bowling alley for that event. This time it will be just us girls - Gracie, Amber, Georgia and Mama. I'm walking through the open door, not knowing what is on the other side but confident in my faith that God will lead me in whatever waits for me on the other side.

Please join us in praying for our foster care ministry! We are praying for discernment to see the path He has set before us, unity in what God places on our hearts, patience to wait for His timing, and faith to continue walking through these open doors. As we wait to see what God will do in our own family, we are so encouraged to see many families we know begin to pursue the ministry of foster care. We pray that God will use their families in a mighty way to further His kingdom and that He will use our family to give them the love and support they need as foster parents.

A Flood of Questions (day 11)

2010-04-15T23:50:00.000-04:00

Ross and I made a trip to Walmart tonight, just the two of us. On the way home, we had a discussion about Noah and the ark. I wanted to share with you just a few things we pondered:

What did Noah do with the termites and the woodpeckers?

How did the owls and bats and possums sleep during the day when everyone else was awake?

Were the pigs offended that Noah's son was named Ham? Did they think to themselves, "You know, this might not have been such a good idea for us!"

Did the bears have to come out of hibernation to get on the ark and did it make them grumpy without their long winter nap?

When the dove went to find land and didn't come back, did the dove left behind panic and think "Oh no! I'm the only one left!"

Oh how I LOVE exploring the Bible with my children!! I'm also thankful that my Mama taught me that the Bible is full of real stories that happened to real people, not just a bunch of fairy tales. She knows how to make the Bible come to life! Now I'm doing the same for my children.

What's your favorite Bible story? Have you explored it with who/what/when/where/why? Look at it through the viewpoint of all the different characters in the story. Think about your five senses and what each of them would have experienced if you were there when the story took place. Now go tell your children, your grandchildren - go tell any child! - a story from the Bible and make it come alive! Then come back and tell us about it!

"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword..." Hebrews 4:12 NASV

Avoiding the Salt Shaker (day 10)

2010-04-15T01:54:00.000-04:00

“Therefore do not let sin exercise dominion in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions. No longer present your members to sin as instruments of wickedness but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and present your members to God as instruments of righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under the law but under grace.” Roman 6:12-14 (NIV)

“Mommy, Gracie is on the table again!” Ross called from the kitchen. Indeed, Gracie was sitting in the middle of the kitchen table, happily shaking salt from its shaker and watching it fall like snow all over the table. For what was at least the fifth time that day, I retrieved Gracie from atop the kitchen table. Once again I sternly said, “No!” then swatted her little bottom and placed her on the floor. Gracie instantly dissolved into tears at my correction of her and her removal from the table, just as she had the first four times that day. Again I cleaned up the salt she had been sprinkling from the salt shaker all over the table.

I also pondered once more why she was so fascinated with the salt shaker on the table and what I could do to stop her from getting to it again. Someone had suggested I remove the salt shaker from the table and place it somewhere out of her reach. But I wanted her to learn discipline in the face of temptation. I wanted to teach her that not everything in her reach belonged to her and that some things must be left untouched by little hands. The salt shaker remained on the table, a temptation but hopefully also a lesson in the long run.

God does the same for me with sin in my life. Sometimes the temptation to sin is just too great and no matter how I try, I always end up dabbling in it a bit. When a particular thing is a great temptation to me, I pray and ask God to remove the temptation from my life. But in a sinful world, this is an impossibility. Sin is ever present not only in my life, but in the world. Instead, I need to rely on God’s grace to help me face my temptation and turn from it.

Paul tells us in Romans 6:12 to “not let sin exercise dominion in your mortal bodies”. As Christians, we are free from the bondage of sin. It no longer has the power to control what we say or do. Paul goes on to say in verse 14 that “sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” Our power comes from the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. We are to “present your members to God as instruments of righteousness” to become holy and blameless in His sight.

So what am I to do when the temptation of sin beckons me to come and join in? How do I turn from sin and choose righteousness? During those moments of temptation, when my flesh is weak, I pray that God will remind me that sin has lost its power in my life. I pray that my spirit will be strong. James 4:7 tells us to “submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” By His grace, I am no longer subject to the law. The price has been paid and I am free in Christ.

It's been a busy week here at Gentility so I haven't had as much time to write as I would like! Today's post is another blast from the past I originally wrote in 2005. Hope you enjoyed it!

Just a Moment in Time

2010-04-12T20:49:00.001-04:00

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

This week we celebrated two firsts with Georgia - she began crawling and she cut her first tooth. We clapped and cheered her on as she made her way across the living room floor. Her eyes lit up with amazement at all we were doing as if to say "Wow! All this attention just for making my way over to my favorite toy!". Her first tooth finally came after two sleepless nights of misery for her and Mommy and Daddy - poor baby!

Like any typical mother would do, I noted the date and wrote it down for her baby book. Ask most mothers and they will remember how old their child was when they slept through the night, started baby food or took three steps in the hallway. There is something momentous in seeing a baby do things for the first time.

Outside of raising children, there are so many other important "firsts" in our lives. I will never forget the first time I met Michael, where we went on our first date or the details of our first kiss. I remember driving my first car, riding my first roller coaster, and the first time I saw my name in print under something I wrote. Firsts are beginnings, full of excitement and anticipation and the unknown. We don't know how it's going to turn out but generally we know that the first time is just the first of many times.

In the midst of all the "firsts" in our lives, particularly in raising children, are the "lasts". Sometimes the last time we will ever do something is just as precious as the first time we did it, but we are so busy or in such a routine that we miss the importance of the moment. Many times we aren't even aware it's the last time.

I don't remember when Ross called me Mommy for the last time and began to only call me Mom. I don't remember the last night I tucked Gracie into bed and she needed my kiss and our prayers before she could sleep. Amber is learning to dress herself now and one day soon I will help her put on a shirt for the last time. Last month I nursed Georgia for the last time. I was very aware of what a precious thing this had been between us and I took time to cherish our last time together in such a wonderful way. I vividly remember the last time I saw my dad before he deployed to Guantanamo Bay in November. I play it over and over again in my mind on days like today when I miss him dearly. And I'm eagerly waiting for the first time I see him when he comes home again in late May.

Life is made up of many moments - some are big, some are routine, others are firsts and lasts. I'm striving to live in the moment, to recognize the lasts as well as the firsts, and to celebrate them all.

Ten Things I Learned This Week (day 6)

2010-04-10T16:06:00.000-04:00

On Saturdays, I plan to post the top ten things I've discovered this week. Enjoy!

1. Excitement is defined by the reaction of a three year old when her daddy arrives home from work.

2. Kids' clothes tend to multiply themselves in the drawers, while Mom's clothes seem to disappear into thin air.

3. Concentration needed for writing with four kids in the house requires headphones and Jim Brickman playing piano.

4. When you think outside the box, one organizing technique can be adapted to fit three different children in three very different ways.

5. It's not that hard to get back in the saddle, even if you haven't been on the horse in a long time.

6. Reading is a great stress reliever and it's worth making time for.

7. Starbucks really is as good as I remembered it to be...and Caribou Coffee makes a great substitute when needed.

8. Water gun fights are worth the extra laundry.

9. Lunch out with Daddy makes the whole rest of the day better.

10. Only a 6 yr old girl can wear a flower print shirt, camouflage pants and pink cowboy boots and still have people say she looks "so cute".

What did you learn and discover this week?

The 30 Challenge Update

2010-04-09T23:06:00.000-04:00

Welcome to all my new readers! It's great to have you here! Today is day five of The 30 Challenge and I am amazed by the response I've received to my blog. Thank you!!

As you recall, The 30 Challenge is a personal challenge to myself to:
1. Write for 30 consecutive days on the blog.
2. Get 30 comments on my posts to the blog.
3. Add 30 followers to the blog.

The response is overwhelming! On the blog itself, I have 7 followers now. At the request of my friend Melanie, I created a Facebook page for Life at Gentility and there are currently 52 fans following the blog there! If you'd like to be a fan on Facebook, just click the link on the right side of the page and it will take you to my fan page. Be sure to check in frequently - I just might use your idea for my next post!

A few of you have asked about why I instituted The 30 Challenge. I love to write and I want to grow as a writer. The only way to grow is to write regularly, preferably daily. And the best way to insure I write daily is to make myself accountable to others. Knowing there are 57 people out there waiting for today's post motivates me to make the time to write it! Your comments help me to see what works and what doesn't, what you enjoy reading about and what's boring to you. I love to read your responses to my writing. But as my Daddy says, writing is a deeply personal thing and in the end, I'm the one I want most to please with it.

While you are here, check out today's post titled "The Power of the Written Word". This is my first challenge writing assignment for Faith Writers. What is Faith Writers? It is an online group of Christian writers who come together to share their writing, critique each other's work, seek writing jobs and participate in classes and challenges to help us all grow as writers. Each week a challenge topic is posted. Writers submit their response to the topic and the editors select the best works. Each year, these winners are featured in a book together and are also eligble for cash prizes for best overall writings of the year. This week's challenge is "The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword". The submitted writing does not have to contain this specific phrase but must be about the power of the written word. So go check out my post for today and let me know why you think the pen is mightier than the sword.

The Power of the Written Word (day 5)

2010-04-09T22:48:00.000-04:00

I have a deep, lifelong love of books. As soon as I learned to read, I would sound out words and read everything in sight - books, signs, items on the grocery store shelves, billboards, anything! It drove my poor Mama crazy and to this day there are certain words my family teases me about, recalling my mispronunciation of them as a child learning to read.

My love of reading naturally evolved into a love of writing as well. Not only did I love to be swept away to the English countryside, a South American jungle, the wild West or the faraway Orient, I loved the richness of the language and the uniqueness of the dialects and vocabulary of each place the books would take me. I wrestled with the rough Irish brogues and their halting, brash, half-spoken words as I read "Angela's Ashes". I was swept away by the elegance and finery of the Victorian tongues in "Sense and Sensibility". The poetic grace of Shakespeare's Juliet was a sharp contrast to the cold, uncaring Scrooge created by Dickens. I was fascinated that words could transform into anything you wished, as long as you carefully chose them.

Throughout history, the power of the written word has changed the course of mankind. Martin Luther forever changed Christianity and the church when he nailed "The Ninety-Five Theses" to the door of Castle Church and started the Protestant Reformation. Thomas Paine rallied the colonists together in the cause of independence from the British throne with his pamphlet "Common Sense". And nothing has done more to shape the face of history and the hearts of mankind than the inspired words of God given to us in the Bible.

Words have the power to convict a heart, inspire a soul and transform a mind. With the stroke of a pen, a nation is formed, a law is declared, an imprisoned man is pardoned. Only words can both cause deep pain and give great healing.

At the end of my time on this earth, the power of the written word will once again reveal itself for my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and this declares me righteous to a holy judge. Thanks be to God that my eternity is sealed in heaven because He has written my name!

“For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and I will write them on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” Hebrews 8:10

Put on a Happy Face (day 4)

2010-04-08T18:27:00.001-04:00

“For the Lord sees not as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Today's blog is an article I wrote four years ago and is still relevant to my life today. I hope it's a blessing to you as well:

I recently experienced one of my most challenging days of motherhood. My children were sitting at the table having just finished their breakfast. I unbuckled Gracie from her booster seat, but got distracted doing something else and did not take her out of her seat right away. I soon found out she did not need my help after all. “Mommy!” Ross called. “Gracie is on the table!” I turned to find my little angel standing on the table, doing a little dance. She giggled and clapped her hands, very proud of her new accomplishment. “No ma’am!” I scolded as I removed her from the table.

As soon as her feet hit the floor, off she went to find adventure. I busied myself with clearing the breakfast dishes and cleaning the booster seat. After several minutes, I looked around and discovered Gracie was nowhere in sight. I began walking through the house, calling for her. I found her in my bathroom, sitting in the floor covered with a pile of 500 cotton swabs. “Oh, Gracie!” I cried. She innocently held one up to me, an offering of her treasure. I quickly gathered the swabs and put them in their place under the sink. When I looked up after completing the task, I realized Gracie had once again slipped away unnoticed. This time I did not have to go looking for her. “Mommy!” Ross called from the kitchen, “Gracie’s making a mess on the floor!”

I hurried back into the kitchen to discover my little girl sitting with legs spread on the floor, dishwasher detergent her substitute for finger paint, the kitchen tile her canvas. “Not again!” I groaned. This latest adventure involved a change of her clothes and a quick mop of the floor. Soon, order had once again been restored. In the course of thirty minutes, my world had been turned upside down three times. Each time I was caught off guard, inwardly scolding myself for not being more diligent in watching what my children were up to. I was weary and discouraged.

Later that same day, we made a trip to the library and the bank. As I presented our books for checkout at the library and as I pulled up to the window at the bank, a smile found its way to my face. It did not appear there because I was happy and cheerful. It appeared almost out of habit. In my heart, I was struggling with the stress and work that motherhood can entail. On my face, life was good and I was a mom who had everything under control.

As moms, we feel we have to put on a front to the world. Society expects us to be Supermoms – holding down a job, serving on the PTA committee, keeping a spotless house and serving a home cooked meal every night. Though each of us knows these standards are impossible to meet, we struggle to become Supermom. So when we fail or flounder, we find it hard to let down our guard and ask for help. We cannot dare to let others know, not even friends and family members, that our job is particularly hard at the moment, that we feel inadequate or unable to care for our children and our home.

This is clearly not as God intended our task to be. Motherhood can be a monumental undertaking. At times it can test our patience, push our endurance and make us question our sanity. But in the quiet times, the reward of our labor is abundant. God has blessed us with precious gifts. These gifts are meant to bring joy into our lives, not stress and heartache.

When we do struggle, God wants us to reach out to each other, encourage and build one another up. Titus 2:3-5 instructs older women to “teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited”. We are designed by God to thrive on relationships with others. He does not expect us to go through life alone, but encourages us to help each other along the way.

To ask for help is to reveal your heart to another. When you admit you are struggling, that life is not as perfect as it appears from the outside, you are humbling yourself and letting go of your pride. Our verse in 1 Samuel 16 reminds us that “the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart”. Even if we are successful in fooling the world, we cannot fool God. He knows our hurts and struggles. He feels our failures and inadequacies. He desires for us to reveal these to each other and bear one another up in love.

Tomorrow as you go about your daily routine, ask yourself if you have put on a happy face. Do you smile just for show? Or does the joy of the task set before you by God put it there? If you cannot honestly smile, reach out to someone. And if you see another who is struggling, take the time to show her the love of Christ.
Lord Jesus, I pray that Your hand would be upon my children. I pray that You would give me a joy unspeakable for the task of equipping and training them to live their lives for You. Place godly women in my life to encourage and assist me in times of struggle. Reveal women in my life that need my encouragement and assistance. Help me to remember that I am Your child and can do nothing without You.

Fill My Cup Lord (day 3)

2010-04-07T16:03:00.000-04:00

This post is dedicated to a dear friend and teacher affectionately known as Mama Jean. The teachings of this 91-year old lady over the course of last year inspired today's writings. Many of these ideas were things she taught and many others are things I learned as a result of her teaching. May the Lord bless you with many more years of teaching, Mama Jean!

One of my favorite days of the week is Thursday because at our house, Thursday morning means Morning Grace. Georgia and Amber go to a nursery class and play with other little ones their age. Gracie goes to her homeschool class and learns lots of wonderful things under the care and watch of Ms. Lovey. Ross is also in a homeschool class learning about the book of Leviticus and the customs and ceremonies of the Israelite priests with Mrs. Ashe. And I get a few hours reprieve from being wife and mom to just be a daughter of God, refreshing my spirit, worshipping my Savior and learning how to have a closer walk with Him.

Mama Jean has been my teacher at Morning Grace for most of the time I've been there. Last year she taught a class called "Fill My Cup Lord". Using a teacup or coffee mug as a symbol of our hearts, we talked about all the things that we in our cups that prevented us from being filled with all God had for us - a heart full of bitterness or unforgiveness or anger or fear, stains in our cups that represented past sins we had not confessed, cracks and chips representing hurts and trials we had been through. Sometimes our hearts are shattered and God has to form a new cup, molding and shaping us through the trail into something even more like His image. Once our cups are empty of ourselves, there is room for God to fill us with more of Him. We can have joy overflowing, peace that passes understanding, strength for each new day.

As we discussed these things in our class, I thought of my teacup collection at home. My mama started buying me Old Country Roses teacups, saucers and other matching dishes when Ross was born. My demitasse teacups are very small and delicate. They are very beautiful to look at and look lovely on my table set for tea, but most people are hesitant to use them because they are afraid they might break.

When I first became a Christian, my "cup" (my heart) was a lot like that demitasse teacup. It was pretty to look at and others were impressed by it - "Oh you are such a good Christian lady" - but it was delicate and easily broken. The first little trial I faced left it chipped and cracked and not as pretty as it had once been. It was also small and with so much of me still filling the cup, there was not much room for God to lead and direct me. He needed more of me than a little demitasse teacup could hold. And so He broke me - not because I was not good enough, but because He loved me enough to make me something better, something He could use in a mightier way. Through many years of teaching and guiding and disciplining me, through many trials and hurts and disappointments, my cup has changed.

Today my cup better resembles an old stoneware coffee mug. It's nothing pretty to look at, but I'm less concerned now with how others see me and more concerned about how God sees me. It's not as delicate as before, but its strength makes it easier to walk through the storms of life. The biggest change though is in its size. The tiny little teacup has been replaced by a cup that is deep and wide, able to be filled with the things God has for me. My Christianity is no longer something to occasionally put on display in order to impress others. It is a faith that I live out everyday.

What does your cup look like? Whether your heart resembles a delicate teacup or a sturdy coffee mug, we can all be used by God if we will surrender to Him. All He asks is that we allow Him to fill our cup.

Learn Something New Everyday (day 2)

2010-04-06T18:07:00.001-04:00

"And do not be conformed to this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" Romans 12:2

It's no secret that I'm a homeschooling mama. My days are typically filled with workbooks, science experiments and art projects. I'm always looking for ways to make learning fun for my children. I want them to love to learn and to continue learning into adulthood.

I remember as a teenager counting down the days when I would be finished with school and learning. One day, I thought, I'll be an adult in the real world and there will be no more reading and memorizing and testing what I know! Little did I know then, learning is a lifetime experience. Every day is a new opportunity to discover something, to gain a new skill, to learn! The question is, are you seizing the opportunity?

One of the greatest unexpected benefits of homeschooling my children has been rediscovering my own joy of learning. Together we immerse ourselves in the history of our country, the creation of our planet, the structure of our language. And I find myself often saying, "I didn't know that!" In addition to the new things I'm learning as I teach my children, I'm making it a priority to learn new things for myself. Some things I've learned have helped me to manage my house better, like making homemade baby food and laundry detergent, planting a garden for the first time, taking up the challenge of perfecting lemon pound cake or painting our bathroom. Other things I've learned have helped me to be a better teacher by helping me to understand learning styles, giving me new ideas for organizing lesson plans or introducing me to a new method of homeschooling. In my own personal interests, I've learned to quilt and am constantly reading a new Bible study or book meant to teach and encourage wives, mothers or women in general. Since starting this blog I've learned how to set up a website template, how to insert "click here" to lead people to a different web address without typing it out and today I learned how to set up a Facebook page for my blog and then set up the blog to allow readers to "become a fan".

All around us are new avenues waiting to be explored, new worlds we have yet to know, if only we will take the time to pursue them. So what's stopping you? Make it a priority to learn something new everyday. Get excited about learning again. Who knows, you might discover a hidden talent or find a wonderful new hobby.

What have you learned recently? Are you in the process of learning something new right now? Be sure to leave a comment and share it with us!

The 30 Challenge

2010-04-05T20:20:00.000-04:00

For as long as I can remember, I've loved to write. I have poetry books I wrote in elementary school that my parents saved for me. I have a file in my desk drawer of devotionals and other writings, some that have been published on various websites. I've been paid to write on a few occasions. I even have a magazine and a book on my bookshelf, both containing published writing with my name on it. So it was only natural for me to begin to write a blog. My blog gives me a chance to share with others what God is doing in my life and gives a glimpse of our family's adventures in parenting, homeschooling and whatever else I've dreamed up for us to do. Writing is an outlet for me - a great stress reliever - but lately it has been something that is at the bottom of my priority list. When I do get a chance to write, I feel almost like I'm talking to myself on the blog. I don't have many followers and I don't get many comments. This discourages me from writing more often and so the cycle continues.

And so, I am presenting myself with a challenge - 30 posts in 30 days with 30 followers and 30 comments. Beginning today and running through May 5th, I am commiting to writing on my blog each day. I am also going to promote my blog to as many people as possible and make a goal of having 30 followers at the end of the 30 days. I currently have 4 - thank you to my followers!! AND, so I don't feel like I'm talking to myself, I am going to encourage more comments so that by the end of the 30 days, I have at least 30 new comments on my blog. My hope is that by the end of the 30 days, I will feel energized to continue writing more often. The big dream is that I will once again be able to write for a paycheck and contribute to our family budget.

So whether you've enjoyed my blog in the past, or you've just found my blog, and you like what you see, please become a follower! This will alert you to new blog posts automatically. Tell your friends to check it out too! Follow along and see how I do in the next 30 days. And as always, comments are welcome!

Lessons from "Little House in the Big Woods" (day 1)

2010-04-05T19:59:00.001-04:00

Today the girls and I sat down and read a chapter from "Little House in the Big Woods". I have always intended to read through as many of the books in the Little House series as possible with the girls, but time and other commitments have kept me from it. At Gracie's urgings, we finally sat down today and began to read. We had actually started this book some time over the summer so instead of starting at the beginning, we simply picked up where we left off.

First we read about Laura and Mary helping Ma with the chores through the week. Each day Ma would have a different chore she would focus on. We reviewed the days of the week and talked about routines in our house. The book described in great detail how Ma would churn the butter and how she used carrot in the winter to make the butter yellow so it would look pretty. The girls were fascinated that you could make butter by yourself so we decided to try it. I poured some heavy cream into a mason jar and screwed the lid on tight. We took turns shaking it until it became so thick it wouldn't shake anymore. Then we took off the lid and sampled our creation. We all agreed that as yummy as our butter was, it was a lot of work and we are thankful we can go buy ours at the store!

After chores, Ma would sometimes cut out paper dolls and bits of colored paper. Then Mary and Laura would sit together and dress the dolls and pretend. So I found a set of paper dolls online, printed them out (complete with several outfits and hairdos) and we started coloring them and cutting them out. Now they each have a paper doll and lots of clothes to dress it with, just like Mary and Laura.

At the end of the chapter, Pa told the girls a story about Grandpa and the panther. We talked a little bit about panthers and that was the end of our lesson (and their attention spans). We are all looking forward to reading together again tomorrow!

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

2010-03-26T21:32:00.000-04:00

March is a peculiar time of year for our family as homeschoolers. At this point in the school year, I find myself looking back at what each child has learned, how much curriculum we've covered and what he/she has accomplished. I also look ahead and make goals for the coming school year and plans for summer break. I breathe a sigh of relief that the long winter cooped up indoors with rambunctious children is finally giving way to the warm weather and the chance to burn up energy running and playing outdoors out from underneath Mama's feet. It's a time of year in which I constantly find myself looking behind and ahead, but often missing the present moment and enjoying what it has to offer or teach me.

It reminds me of the poem "To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest, with the Plough" by Robert Burns. Burns is a Scottsman from 1785. He wrote the poem, as the title suggests, when he was plowing his fields and inadvertently overturned a mouse's winter nest in the process. Toward the end of the poem is the famous line: "The best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew, and leave us nothing but grief and pain, for promised joy!" In other words, no matter how well we plan, sometimes we can destroy the plans of others by our actions. The poet observed that the mouse was the lucky one, as he lived in the moment, while the poet was looking to sad events of the past and the uncertainty of the future and was unable to enjoy the present. You can read the poem and an excellent explanation of the meaning behind it here.

This poem challenges me in this peculiar season of homeschooling. As I look back on our accomplishments in this school year (and our shortcomings!) and plan new goals for the coming months, I am purposing to stay in the moment. I don't want to miss the wonder on Glorie's face when she watches the mockingbird carrying a stick to its nest. I want to enjoy the pride on Grace's face when she recognizes a word and can read it to me. I will be there to cheer Georgia on as she begins to crawl across the floor. I plan to celebrate with Gilbert when he finishes his first long novel.

There is a time and a purpose in reviewing where I've been and planning for where I am going. I intend to enjoy the journey along the way!

Open Doors

2010-03-21T19:39:00.001-04:00

The past few weeks have been filled with faith and promise. As you know, Michael and I are licensed foster parents. We have not had a placement in almost three years. However, we have been very busy with two new babies, an ill grandmother, homeschooling and just life in general! Recently Michael and I spent a day alone together and talked about where we want to go from here as a family. Eventually foster care came into the conversation and we decided to begin praying for God to direct us as to where to go next, or whether to go anywhere at all - perhaps God has finished our work in this area! And so we began to pray.

First we prayed for God's provision. We needed a bed for a child to sleep in and clothes for him to wear. (Yes HIM - we have as many girls as we can hold in our little house!) So we prayed and we waited. A week later, God provided a loft bed and mattress through Freecycle. We saw this as confirmation that God wanted us to continue with foster care and continued to wait on Him to provide.

It's been a few weeks longer now and we continue to see God pave the way before us. I found a large bag of boy's clothes in the attic that I was sure I had given away. We were invited to a DSS sponsored function that normally we would have never heard about. All around us we see confirmations from God, leading us and showing us the way, even if it is just the next step.

And so we stand before an open door. Our hearts are full of excitement and anticipation as we imagine what God may have in store for us beyond this door. Will we begin fostering again? Does God have a child in mind that will become a permanent part of our family? Or is He planning to continue to use us to minister to those actively fostering?

If I am honest, there is also a feeling of inadequacy and wondering at the unknowns. How do we add yet another child when our schedule (and our home) already seems to be bursting at the seams? How would another child in our home (temporary or permanent) affect our children? I need so much grace and patience from my Heavenly Father every day just to love and nurture and teach and mold the lives of the four beautiful children He's given us. How much more grace and patience will I need if we add another child to the picture? Are we crazy to even be considering this?!? What about school? And clothes? And time for each child? How will we find him? How will he respond to us? What if this is not the beginning of another journey for us but the end of a journey we've been on the past four years? Am I ready to close the door and leave this ministry behind if that's what God calls me to do?

I am very aware of my dependence on God to care for my children in a way that honors Him and even more aware of how much more I will need Him if we expand our hearts to include another child. I see so many areas of my life that need major work and change, so many weaknesses. I do not know how the details will work out. But there are things that I know to be true. Praise God that He is faithful! His grace is more than enough, it will never run out. His mercies are new every morning. He will bring to completion that which He calls us to do.

I do not know what lies beyond this open door, where it will take us, how long it will be before we walk through it. This I know, and this truth sustains me - God is here with me on this side of the door and He will be with me every step of the way beyond it. I don't know what the future holds but I know Who holds my future and I am putting my trust in Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Old is New Again in 2010

2010-01-04T15:44:00.000-05:00

In my last post I shared with you my dream for transforming my modern day cookie cutter suburban home into an old fashioned farmhouse that looks like it's been here for 100 years. I also gave my home a name, Gentility.

Now that we have a focus here at Gentility the work can begin! First on the agenda is a major PURGE! I realized as I put away my everyday living room decor to make room for Christmas decorations that most of what is on display in my home is not meaningful to me. It's just there because it's always been there. So as I pack up the Christmas decorations, keeping only what I LOVE of course, I will also only return decor to the living room that is meaningful to me. Our church is having a fundraising yard sale in a few weeks so this will be my motivation to work quickly, purge the clutter from Gentility and help a good cause at the same time!

I also shared in my last post my love of things with a soul. I received a few wonderful gifts this Christmas to add to Gentility that definitely have a soul and a story to tell. I received an old family photo, an old print to hang on the wall and a china platter. The stories of these pieces will be shared as I find homes for them here at Gentility. For now they have been tucked away so escape the great purge!

Once the purge is complete, the redecorating will begin! I will be doing most of the work myself with occasional assistance from my sweet husband or my children. I am excited to see the new face of Gentility. Won't you come along with me for the journey? Stay tuned for pictures to show our progress.

Welcome to Gentility

2009-12-18T11:02:00.001-05:00

For a long time now, I've dreamed of living in an old farmhouse full of family heirlooms, antiques and pictures of long lost relatives on the wall. I imagine myself sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch snapping beans, watching the chickens scratch in the front yard and wondering how to keep the deer out of my garden. I see a handmade quilt on every bed. It's grandma's house - or at least what I've always imagined grandma's house should be.

The reality though is that I live in a cookie cutter modern house in a cookie cutter modern neighborhood. There's not much in my house that's older than I am, except maybe my sweet husband. My quilts come from the store and the only beans I have are in a can. I don't know a lot about gardening, or chickens for that matter.

In this day of modern conveniences and mass production, there is very little of long term worth. You can't go to Target and pick out something that will be passed on to your children and their children and so on. So there's something special in the heirlooms that are still with us from the past. I love things that have a soul, things that could tell stories of where they've been and what they've seen over their long life.

And so I am resolving to recreate my own "little old farmhouse" right here in the middle of my subdivision. As I thought about how to go about this, I knew I needed a vision, a focus to point me in the right direction. I also needed a name for my little old farmhouse. Every good old Southern home has a name - just ask Scarlett O'Hara about her Tara. And of course, our family has a thing about G names so it wouldn't hurt if our house had one too.

I turned to the dictionary for inspiration and there is was - the very definition of what I wanted to achieve in my little old farmhouse: "Refined in manner; polite; free from vulgarity and rudeness; elegantly fashionable or stylish in manner or appearance; striving to convey a manner or appearance of refinement and respectability". It was everything I wanted to bring to my home - it was gentility.

So come on in and sit with me. I'll make us both a cup of tea. I can show you my quilting projects and the wonderful treasures I've found at the antique store. My little old farmhouse will be a work in progress for quite a while. But company is always welcome.

Welcome to Gentility.

Do Unto Others

2009-11-22T22:27:00.000-05:00

This week before the rush of the holidays begins, I am purposing to focusing on serving others with my children. It's important that our children see us serving, that they know how to find ways to serve and that they participate with us as often as possible.

We will start out with some simple letter writing and cards. I want my children to carry on the act of a written letter or a card to send wishes to a friend or loved one. In today's culture of email and text messages, a written note is a lost and dying art. Tomorrow's schoolwork will consist primarily of writing notes and cards to cousins and other family members who are far away. I have photos set aside to include with these letters as well. We also have a card signed for George, the retired Marine we heard about last week who is in need of some encouragement, and another for Tabetha, a friend at Morning Grace who is recovering from major surgery. Of course I set the example for them today, writing thank you notes that were overdue and a long letter to Amber's birth mom. Lastly we will begin to work on cards and pictures to put in Grandaddy's care package going to Cuba later this month.

I try to encourage my children to use their talents to serve the Lord and others whenever possible. Serving others should be a joy, not an obligation, and what better way to serve with joy than by doing something you love and have a talent for! This Tuesday, I will use my talent and their eagerness to learn about baking to benefit the Charlotte Rescue Mission. All day Tuesday we plan to make baked goods for CRM to serve during their Thanksgiving meal on Thursday. Wednesday we will deliver the baked goods and then head home to cook up our own contributions to the Thanksgiving meal we will be attending at Aunt Jen and Uncle Mike's house.

What can you do to serve someone this Thanksgiving holiday? What talents and interests do you have that can be used in an act of service to others? Leave a comment and let me know what you are doing to serve someone this Thanksgiving.

Holiday Countdown - In the Kitchen

2009-11-02T14:26:00.000-05:00

Now that Halloween has come and gone, thoughts are turning to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Call your relatives and finalize your Thanksgiving dinner plans now if you haven't already. Our family will be spending Thanksgiving with my brother's family and my mom - Daddy will already be in Cuba by then.

Once you know where you're eating, you need to decide what you're eating. Are you hosting the family at your house? Do you need to bring something to dinner at someone else's house? Decide now what you will make and start watching the sales ads for the ingredients you need.

You can also begin to think ahead to Christmas gifts from the kitchen. I love to bake so I do a lot of baked goods gifts for neighbors, the kids' teachers in their different homeschool activities and some of Michael's coworkers. I also like to doing some holiday baking now to help prepare me for all the parties and dinner and just special time with family and friends. If I do some baking now, I have more time to relax and enjoy the season! I set aside Wednesdays for cooking/baking and cleaning my kitchen.

My first plan of action is to buy bags of ripe bananas marked down at the grocery store. Then I use them to make as many batches of banana bread as possible - 6 bananas will make 2 or 3 batches depending on your recipe. Last year I bought some individual mini foil baking pans with holiday lids at the end of the season. So far I have about a dozen mini loaves of banana bread in the freezer waiting to be gifted to a friend or neighbor or teacher. I bake the loaves then let them cool. After I put the lids on the pans, I wrap them first in plastic wrap and then in foil. Then I put the loaves in freezer bags and stack them in my freezer. Make sure you label them so you know what you have!

This past weekend I bought half a bushel of honey crisp apples at a produce stand near my mom's house. On Wednesday I'll be making apple butter, apple jelly and baked apples to can. These will also make great gifts!!

Not all my baking is for giving away! If I gave it all away, there would be mutiny in the house. I also plan to start preparing cookie dough to freeze and pull out in December for those days the kids want to decorate cookies. I also try to make a double meal when possible, serving one for dinner and freezing the other for another busy night during the holidays.

Leave a comment and tell me about your favorite gift from the kitchen to give or one you've received!

3 Months with Georgia

2009-10-29T15:37:00.001-04:00

It's hard to believe that little Georgia is already 3 months old! Seems like just yesterday we were counting her fingers and toes, marveling at the beautiful creation of God. She's such a little trooper - already she has had to go through jaundice, colic and the swine flu (Mama had it, but God protected her). We are so thankful she is now healthy and growing.

She is really starting to develop a little personality. She loves to smile and coo now. She very much prefers Mama's lap to anyone else's and usually protests if someone else tries to hold her. She is also rolling over now and loves to lay on her Grandmama quilt in the floor and just look around.

I am so thankful God chose to bless us with Georgia! What a wonderful gift she is to our family. We love you Peaches!!

Toilet Paper Pumpkins

2009-10-29T09:11:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I found this great little decoration for fall and I just HAD to try it! It was so quick and easy and I already had all the supplies right here at home. Thanks to the Moore Minutes website for the idea!! You can get instructions here on how to make your own, plus another idea for making pumpkins out of dryer vent tubing.

Here are some pics of the finished product:

Post a comment and share how you decorate for fall!

My Favorite Couponing Website

2009-10-01T16:30:00.002-04:00

About a month ago, a friend of mine recommended a great website to me:

This is a great website if you are just beginning to collect coupons or even if you have clipped coupons for years and just don't know where or when to use them. There are several great features to the website:

1. Couponing 101 and other info: This is a great place to start if you are ready to save money but don't know where to begin. There is also a list of terms and abbreviations that are frequently used on the website listed and what they mean. And you can learn the basics of store programs like CVS Bonus Bucks and Walgreens Register Rewards.

2. Grocery stores: Each week the best deals for southern grocery stores are listed on the site. Grocery stores listed on the site are Bi-Lo, Harris Teeter, Food Lion, Harveys, Ingles, Kroger and Publix. Just click on the store you like to shop at and see what's on sale and if a coupon is available for that item. If there's a coupon available, it will list the amount in red along with the date it was in the Sunday paper. For online coupons, a link is provided for you to go and print the coupon. The website will also highlight items available for free or very cheap when you use a coupon and frequently lists the best weekly deals so you know which store has the best price if you must buy diapers or ground chuck for example.

3. Drug stores: Each week the website will list sale items for Rite Aid, CVS and Walgreens. Similar to the grocery listings, if an item has a coupon available it will be listed below the item. Also listed are items in the store program deals such as CVS Bonus Bucks or Walgreens Register Rewards. At the end of each store's listing, the website will give you a shopping plan of what to buy and what coupons to use, showing how much you will pay out of pocket and how much you will save or even earn in store money.

4. Other good deals: Frequently the website will post rebates, special sales or giveaways by companies. Last week we went to Coldstone Creamery and took advantage of free ice cream. Today I found out about a new rebate offer from SC Johnson & Company. A lot of these offers are for a limited time so it's important to stay tuned to the website. The best way to not miss out on these deals is to either subscribe to Southern Savers - it's free just click the link on the right side of the webpage - or become a fan of Southern Savers on Facebook and the offers will appear right on your newsfeed wall.

This website can be credited with really giving me a better grasp of not only how to save money with coupons but also with how much money we have the opportunity to save if only we are aware of it! I hope you are helped by it as much as I have been!

The Fourth G

2009-08-02T18:14:00.003-04:00

Introducing

AVA GEORGIA VELEKE

the fourth G

Georgia arrived on Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 at 11:22 am.

She was born on my parents' 36th anniversary.

She weighs 6 lbs 11 oz and is 20 inches long.

God blessed Mama with a quick delivery - only 4 and a half hours - surrounded by my hubby, my Mama and my "sister" cousin Beckie.

We are so grateful for this newest addition to our family.

God is so kind and continues to bless our family far more than we deserve.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights,

who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Are You Ready?? He's Coming!!

2009-06-02T10:16:00.003-04:00

This week I reached the nine week mark in my pregnancy with baby Georgia. In just nine short weeks she will be here with us and the anticipation will be over. Are we ready?? Not by a longshot.

Lately I've had a lot of thoughts about preparations that need to be complete before she arrives and the what ifs (what if she's early? what if I need a c-section and have a longer recovery?). I don't want to be caught off guard and bring home a baby to a mountain of laundry, piles of dirty dishes, an unplanned school year and disorganization. I know that things will go more smoothly if there are meals in the freezer for dinner, clean laundry in the drawers, a system of housekeeping in place that my family knows how to follow. So we have begun to prepare. We're doing lots of extra cleaning, staying on top of chores, planning our school year now for this fall. We are anxiously awaiting Georgia's arrival and we want to be ready for whenever that may be.

This morning as I began making lists of things still left to be done, my thoughts turned to another event I am anticipating - the coming of Jesus. In Mark 13:32-37, Jesus reminds us that the day and the hour of his return are unknown and we must be ready. "If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone. Watch!" (Mark 13:36-37) In the busyness of life we can get caught up in our to do lists, the frantic pace and the urgent things that cry out for our attention. But we must not lose our focus! We must be always looking to the sky, ready for the Savior's return for his bride!

In the same way I don't want to be found unprepared when baby Georgia arrives, I want my Jesus to find me ready and waiting for him. Are you ready?? He's coming!!

In Step with Jesus

2009-05-30T23:09:00.005-04:00

Here's a video of Gracie's dance recital performance tonight. All the girls did so wonderfully dancing in worship to Jesus. I know He is well pleased with both their dancing and their hearts.

http://sharing.theflip.com/session/3b10fbda376437774db5971a109a2d60/video/4339107

First Harvest

2009-05-28T13:03:00.002-04:00

Today we brought in our first harvest from the backyard garden. This is some beautiful lettuce, even better than what you find in the store. The kids are very excited to help me make a great salad for dinner tonight. And we're all anxiously awaiting the future harvests to come - tomatoes, cucumbers, red and yellow bell peppers, squash, zucchini and cilantro.

Hope this is the beginning of a wonderful summer for you and your familiy!

Easter Pictures

2009-05-02T21:50:00.003-04:00

Several people have asked to see our Easter pictures of the kids this year, so I'm posting them here for everyone to see. Enjoy!!

Gilbert asked if I thought he looked like a preacher - he loved his tie!

All dressed up for Easter

Gracie did not care about taking pictures - she just wanted her Easter basket!

Nanny found matching dresses and shoes for Glorie and Gracie - so pretty!

We could not get Glorie to smile...until we asked her if she wanted to eat!!

Growing in Jesus (and the Backyard too)

2009-05-02T20:40:00.004-04:00

This afternoon, after much anticipation and waiting, my hubby built our raised bed frame and filled it with wonderfully rich black dirt. We've been planning and talking about our first garden for weeks, so we were all excited to see it finally come together. We all went to the store together this afternoon and picked out several plants - tomatoes (large and grape size); cucumbers; red and yellow bell peppers; zucchini; squash - and also some seeds for cilantro, green onions and two kinds of lettuce.

After dinner, the kids and I put our hands in that rich soil and planted the plants and seeds. We talked about how we would enjoy the fruits of our labors all through the summer and also about the work that was needed so that we'd have veggies to enjoy - the watering, the looking for bugs/pests, the weeding, the harvesting. The work has been a big part of our conversation over the last few weeks. With Mama being pregnant all summer, most of the work will have to fall to the kids and Dad. So we've talked a lot about reaping what you sow, being diligent and doing your part.

We've also used this opportunity to teach a spiritual lesson as well. In our own Christian walk with Christ, we reap what we sow. If we are spending regular time sowing the seed of the Word of God into our hearts; if we cultivate our relationship with Christ through prayer; if we seek to grow in knowledge and understanding of the gospel and its impact on our hearts - there will be a bountiful harvest of fruit that will be evident to us and to those around us.

One of the kids asked, "What are we going to do with so many tomatoes and vegetables?" Our hope is to share our bounty with our neighbors and our friends and family. In the same way, when our lives are full of spiritual fruit, the bounty overflows and we share the fruit of the gospel with those we love. If our garden is producing bushels and bushels of harvest, people will want to know what we're doing differently so they can try it in their own gardens. If our hearts are producing in us the fruits of the Spirit, people will want to know how we are able to be joyful, loving, patient, kind, self-disciplined and long suffering. Then we can point to Jesus and share the fruit of the gospel in our lives.

This garden is a new challenge for all of us. It will require work, perseverence and a willingness to learn new things. We will have to be consistent in our care of the garden. For me personally, this garden is also a challenge for me spiritually. How well am I tending the garden of my heart? Is it neglected and overrun by weeds of distraction and busyness? Does my life bear spiritual fruit? Can others around me see the bounty of the harvest that God is producing in me? Is there fruit in the gardens of my childrens' hearts? How can I sow seeds into their hearts that will produce good fruit? How can I share the harvest with those around me?

I'm looking forward to seeing what this summer produces - in my garden and in my heart.

Using it Up and Making it New

2009-04-18T19:42:00.002-04:00

I've had a little time this week to do a number of small projects. They all have used items around the house that have either lost the value of their original purpose or have been sitting, waiting to be used for the first time!

Sunday afternoon I took some old receiving blankets and repurposed them. I cut three blankets into 12 squares each. Most of them are now folded and sitting in an empty wipes container in the kitchen, ready to wipe little hands and faces clean after meals and crafts. The flannel is soft and holds up well in the laundry. And it saves us having to use more wipes. We gave up paper towels about a year ago and I've been trying to find a solution to a messy baby at the end of meals. When I saw this idea on another blog, it was just perfect for us. Some of the squares I cut were all white (or mostly white). These went into a play wipes container Gracie bought with her Easter money from Nanny. Now she and Glorie can pretend to wipe their baby and change their diaper without using up toilet paper or tissues. The new "wipes" are getting a lot of use!

After making the new wipes, I was inspired to see what else I could create. I went through my fabric stash and found two long strips of fleece fabric that coordinated with each other. I cut the strips in half and sewed them together to make a blanket top. Then I took an old fleece blanket that was rough on one side and soft on the other and used it as a backing (soft side out of course). It made a cute little fleecy blanket for baby Georgia to use in her car seat when the weather turns cold. I still plan to sew a decorative stitch around the edges as a border - hopefully I'll get to that tonight or tomorrow.

Then this morning Gracie and I pulled out all my card making supplies and made some cards. I made one to take to a first birthday party we attended this afternoon and a new baby card for another neighbor. Gracie was soon joined by Gilbert and they both created some great Mother's Day cards for Nanny and Grandmama and Mama too! Of course I was not allowed to look at the other end of the table when my card was created. The kids loved spending time crafting with me, we saved some money on store bought cards, and we used up some of my craft stash.

These are just the beginning of our attempts to use up what we have instead of buying new things and finding a new purpose for old stuff around the house that no longer seems to have a use. God calls us to be good stewards of the things He has blessed us with. I want my babies to grow up with a good example in using God's gifts well.

Next on our project list is a fairy door for the girlies. Although we've talked about the fact that fairies are only real in our imagination, we also agree that sometimes having something special like a fairy door helps us to imagine even more wonderful things. So we went to the craft store with Daddy this week and bought our supplies. Stay tuned for pictures of the completed project in another post!!

Do you have a great idea for using something old in a new way? Has the changing economy made you rethink if you need to purchase something new or can make do with what you already have? Leave your ideas for using it up and making it new in the comments! I'd love to hear your ideas.

Update on Caleb

2009-04-18T19:35:00.004-04:00

First my apologies for not posting an update on Caleb sooner. Most of you have seen me in person or heard from me by email. For those of you still not "in the know", here is where the situation now stands:

On the day of court, parental rights were terminated for both biological mom and dad and the judge gave the go-ahead for Caleb's foster parents to proceed with adoption. I was able to meet the foster dad and he seemed to be a great guy who genuinely loves Caleb. We talked about possible contact between our families so that Amber and Caleb will remain connected to each other but nothing definite has been decided at this point. We are waiting to see what the family's comfort level is.

As far as our family and the concerns we brought to court, it was confirmed that we had been deemed unfit for placement of Caleb by Cabarrus DSS. This was largely a political motivation. The judge in Cabarrus did not want to be responsible for paying benefits to a child for 18 years if she could get another county to pay for it instead. The day in court felt like a kick in the gut as I heard about different communications about us between Cabarrus and Wake County agencies. In the end, we've talked to our placement worker and have been reassured that our record was and still is clean and clear and one of integrity. We've put the whole situation with Caleb behind us and now we're looking ahead and moving on.

Let me say that we are at total peace with God's placement of Caleb with his family. We are overjoyed for them as their uncertain waiting comes to an end and the beginning of a more stable future starts. We thank God that in His wisdom and mercy, He sees the hearts and lives of all involved and does what is best not only for Caleb's good, but our good as well.

Please pray as we wait for God's direction in our ministry. July will mark two years since our last foster placement. It's something we missed doing very much. But we are also busy preparing for the arrival of baby Georgia. So we are open and willing to whatever the Lord will lead us to do next - whether to wait and rest, to resume foster care or to embark in another area of this ministry. We will keep you updated as God lights the path before us.

Open Hands, Open Hearts

2009-03-29T22:59:00.008-04:00

Tomorrow afternoon I will be driving to Raleigh to appear in court on Tuesday morning. After 12 months of waiting, I will finally be doing something in Caleb's situation instead of just waiting. All of this is God's timing and I'm excited and anxious to see what He will do while I am in Raleigh. For those of you who are asking yourselves, "Who is Caleb and just what is the situation?" I offer a summary of the last 12 months.

In January 2008, we received a call from Glorie's social worker that her mom was due to have a baby boy in about six weeks. We were already in the process of adopting Glorie from foster care and had known for several months that mom was pregnant, but not sure where the baby would end up since mom was in prison in Raleigh. The social worker said that jurisdiction had been decided and the baby would be sent to Cabarrus County at birth. Since we had sister, would we be interested in brother as well? We of course said yes. So we waited for him to be born. In March 2008, we got another phone call and were informed that baby boy Caleb was born and healthy and would be released from the hospital in two days. We were so excited, we'd been waiting for that call for a while! The day came for him to arrive and we got yet another phone call. Jurisdiction was once again in question and although it would delay Caleb's arrival, DSS felt sure he would come the following day. The next day came the call we never wanted - Caleb would be staying in Raleigh and may never come to Cabarrus County. The baby we had waited and prayed for wasn't coming.

I was heartbroken. I didn't understand what God was doing. But as I prayed and cried, I felt God clearly said "Wait - don't do - just wait". This was the opposite of my very nature. I wanted to call and hound the workers in Raleigh, go up there and make a fuss, bring him home with me!! God gently reminded me that Caleb belonged to Him, not to me. I committed to the Lord to pray and to wait and specifically not to act until I was asked to.

A month would go by with no word from Raleigh. I would begin to be discouraged and finally said, "God, he's yours - put him where he should be and I'll accept it." It still hurt and I still wanted him here, but I was willing to let go if that was what God desired. As soon as I let go, we got a phone call and a little bit of hope. Another month or two passed. Again I affirmed to God that Caleb was in His hands, not mine. Another call and more hope came. For the past 12 months, I have lived on my knees with my hands raised, open handed to whatever God would do. And every time I've affirmed that Caleb is in the hands of God, He sent us hope and opened the door again.

Eventually though I came to accept that he probably would not come. His foster parents could not have children of their own and wanted to adopt him. He's been with them since birth so the bond is very strong. In our hearts, Michael and I let go of the hope he may come someday. We never stopped believing that God was in control and that His will would prevail. But we let go completely of all our expectations.

A few weeks later, I discovered with great surprise that I was expecting baby Georgia in August. I was shocked but also so happy. Many well-meaning people said "Oh God has given you this baby since Caleb could not come". My heart said no, this baby is its own special blessing. God is not surprised and He doesn't give consolation prizes. His will has not changed for Caleb or for us or for baby Georgia.

Last month, I got a call from mom's attorney. He asked me to appear in court to verify that we were willing to adopt Caleb if mom were allowed to sign her rights over to us. He also said that we had been deemed unfit for placement in Raleigh and after seeing our record with Cabarrus DSS, he wanted me to testify and dispute this. I was hurt and angry and confused - why were we unfit?? But at the same time, I was excited. Finally an opportunity to do and not just to wait! And hopefully, I would be able to meet Caleb's foster parents as well.

That brings us to now...God kindly arranged for all the details of my trip tomorrow. Despite all the logistical challenges of going out of town the day my hubby comes home from out of town, finding a hotel, and finding someone to watch the 3 G's - everything fell into place and is ready to go for tomorrow.

And so tomorrow afternoon, I will leave for Raleigh. What am I expecting? Nothing and everything. My heart is fully trusting that my God will do what is best for Caleb. I'm prepared to come home with the final word that he will never come - I would be okay with that now. But I know my God - He is above and beyond anything we can imagine - so I cannot throw out the possiblity that He has allowed all of this in His timing to do an incredible work tomorrow. It could be the end or a hopeful beginning. In either circumstance, my heart cries out "Blessed be the name of the Lord!!"

Pray for Caleb - that God would reveal His will for his life

Dancing for Jesus

2009-03-27T14:48:00.007-04:00

Today I had the joy of watching my child's dream come true. We started going to our current church when Grace was just a year old. When she was about two, the church had a homeschool arts festival and it was there that Grace fell in love with dancing. She watched with rapt attention as a group of young ladies in white flowing skirts danced in worship to their Savior. "I wanna dance Mommy!" was her response.

The next fall she was able to start dancing at Kingdom's Feet, the dance ministry of another local church in our area. She is now in her third year there and is becoming quite a little ballerina. But her dream was always to dance in the white flowing skirt with the other girls in our church.

This year she was finally able to take dance class at our church and today, she walked across the stage in her white flowing skirt and danced for Jesus. It wasn't her first recital and it was actually the smallest recital she's been in. But something about that particular stage and that particular white flowing skirt made it extra special. Today she danced the dream that began her love for dancing.

Both dance classes emphasize that she is dancing for an Audience of One, her beloved Jesus. On the way home from the recital this afternoon, as we told her what a wonderful job she had done, she said, "I just wonder if Jesus liked it." I can assure you, my sweet ballerina, that He sees your heart and your dancing and it brings Him great joy.

Daddy brought me flowers!

My Ballerina in White

Just Do It!

2009-03-26T16:47:00.004-04:00

Lately at our house there's been a lot of cleaning out and decluttering going on. We're getting ready for the arrival of the 4th G - baby Georgia - in August. So we're concentrating on organizing spaces and simplifying what we have. We gotta make room!!

In going through some of our "treasures" (read: clutter) I've found so many things I've saved for "later" - curriculum to try when the kids are older, craft projects to do someday, fabric for doll clothes I want to learn to make. I have notebooks full of activity pages for the kids to do on holidays, patterns of quilts to make for more people than I know, stacks and stacks of enough card making paper to put Hallmark out of business.

I realized as I was going through these treasures that NOW is the time to do these things. Life is whizzing by and someday will soon be a day I wished I had made time for, not a day that will be in the future. I'm only given so many days and years to be a mama and I don't want to look back with regret and wish I'd done this or that with my children.

And so today, as I was cleaning out the scrapbook and cardmaking tote of supplies, I loosened my hold on these treasures and shared them with Grace and Glorie. They created some great art, Grace practiced teaching Glorie something new and we now have some beautiful objects for our refrigerator door. I moved a lot of my "grown up" craft supplies (which spend a lot of time sitting in the closet) to the kids' craft cabinet so it will be used and enjoyed, not saved for later.

Grace and Glorie's sunflower creations

Grace and Glorie show off their homemade pizzas - notice Grace's "pepperonis"

As for me, I'm making a spot for my half-finished projects. Hopefully if I keep them out in view, and work a little at a time, they will become finished projects to bless my family and friends and beautify my home.

Do you have stuff waiting for "later" to be done? Join me today - get it out and JUST DO IT!